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August 06, 2008

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I'll be praying.

Oh man. My brother and his wife went through something like this. They looked up their rights online, just to make sure they were fully informed. They learned a few things by doing that so it might be worth it to look up your state laws. I would also delete all these posts.

Anyway, a caseworker came to their house, asked a few questions, including interviewing their children away from their parents, and concluded that all was fine. It was a horrible experience, though. I'm sorry this has happened.

Oh no! I'm so sorry - will be praying that all goes well.

Oh my gosh, praying for you guys. I haven't had time to comment (just got in from a trip) but I've been thinking about you. This is just ridiculous.

Take care -- you'll come out on top in the end, I'm sure of it.

Last February my husband and I dealt with CPS as well because my son, 15 months at the time, was crying uncontrollably, pain medication systemically and aurally weren't working, was discovered to have a skull fracture as well as double ear infections. When the ER doctor told us, our hearts and shoulders sank. With Phill being a pediatrician, he knew what would have to occur. We tried not to freak out. We don't beat our children or even have motions that could crack their skulls. How did this happen? My heart sunk lower when I realized when it probably happened, under the care of our beloved babysitter, a young girl who'd taken care of our children for close to five years.

My son had fallen off a bar stool while we were out. The entire stool fell on top him. The sitter said he cried for maybe 30 seconds. She saw no problems. Neither did we for the next two weeks.

There we were, in the hospital where my husband worked, being ferried from neurosurgeon to opthomologist while an ice storm raged outside. The social worker could tell from my demeanor how upset I was at all of this, but I was completely worried about the SW speaking to our babysitter. The conversation with the sitter's mother ranks as one of the more difficult ones I've tackled.

Besides the worry that my son had a skull fracture, the next worst part was that I had to be meek, accept what was happening, that my daughters were with a friend miles up a increasingly icy road, that my husband was so busy in meetings and taking care of critically ill newborns, that my son still felt the pain of his ear infections and the lack of a comfortable place to rest.

I feel for you. You'll be alright. You are a good mother who used a reinforcement technique that pissed off a busy-body. I wouldn't have done it, but I don't like in a place like you. Still, this country has become so worrisome about so many things that many people don't know what is a real worry.

I wonder if it's just a routine follow up after a police report is filed involving a minor. It's upsetting, to be sure, but these people see true negligence during the course of their work--children who aren't being fed, who are being abused, who aren't being cared for on any level. You made some very good points in your original post about how you allowed a school-age child to walk (a short distance) home along a route that is approved by the school district. You can also mention how you took the character of your child into account when determining that it was appropriate--he wasn't crushed by the consequences you gave him, he wasn't crying when the police (or the neighbor) arrived, he wasn't upset--he was heading HOME. I'm sure that any reasonable CPS person will see that you are not a neglectful parent and leave satisfied. If they feel the need to justify the time they spent talking to you, you may hear a little lecture, but then I imagine that it will be over and done with.

Psycho neighbors.

I am just plain stunned by that. Let me know if you need any advice (uh, of the legal sort, you know...). I have some good friends in your state who I am sure would be more than willing to help you through this.

I'm so sorry. I agree with a previous commenter--know your rights. You've done nothing wrong. Praying for you that this ends quickly.

I can't imagine anyone less deserving of a visit from CPS than you. You've got my prayers and best wishes that this will be resolved quickly and easily.

Oh my goodness...I am so, so sorry this is happening to you.

There's a version of the Stations of the Cross that I was introduced to as a teenager -- very seventies, but parts of it have stuck with me for over 20 years...from the eighth station: "Lord, teach me, help me learn. When I would snap at those who...hinder me with some misguided helpfulness, those who intrude upon my privacy -- then help me curb my tongue."

I'm sure she thought she was being helpful. Doesn't make it any less maddening, though...we are praying for you!

Know your rights. There's a lot of stuff available online. If it were me, I'd get a lawyer while at it.

So sorry you have to go through this while pg.

I never comment b/c I read in a feed reader and am lazy.

But I had to offer my support. That's just horrifying.

I agree that you should contact a lawyer, and possibly take down the posts dealing with the situation until the investigation is complete.

What a strange world we live in...

You know what? I agree with Leah. Take down the posts.

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