I wrote the post that follows and then was besieged by second thoughts about putting it up for all to read. Should I admit that my 8yo climbs trees without direct supervision? Is it good enough to be within shouting distance? Could this be interpreted as further evidence of negligence? I got a worried email saying I had taken a risk by posting that I'd taken the train to Chicago. For anyone else who wondered, there are nine Midwestern states from which a person could take a morning train that gets her to Chicago in time to hit the Art Institute and a concert. (I did think about that before I posted my agenda for the weekend. I am not cautious enough to take down posts without a clear indication, but I am cautious enough to spend 15 minutes looking at Amtrak timetables and googling college towns.)
I'm not going to let this CPS nonsense run my life, though. I am never going to be the kind of mother whose kids get their exercise on the elliptical trainer in the basement (bicycle helmets securely fastened, because you know elliptical trainers can be dangerous). My kids are going to climb trees if they want to, with diminishing supervision as they learn what they're doing, and they're going to spend time outside in accordance with neighborhood norms until I have good reason to re-evaluate those norms. So here's what happened:
Last summer Joe dug in his heels about riding his bike without training wheels. He said, "I know how to do it. I just don't like to. I prefer my scooter." This was patently untrue, but I wasn't in a rush if he wasn't in a rush.
Today I said, "You know what? You could learn to ride that bike in about ten minutes. Want to try?" He was agreeable and so off we went. We noodled around in front of the house for a few minutes, and then headed around our little block. Pete was riding his trike on the sidewalk around our house, and Alex was right there in case Pete needed anything. Marty was up in our tree, but I wasn't worried about him in the slightest. He has named every branch of that tree, and in all the time he's spent climbing I don't recall that he's ever run into trouble. Our block is small enough that I can hear a shout for help from any point on the way around it.
You know where this is heading, right?
I was almost all the way around, about twenty yards from home, when I heard the screaming. I got Joe safely stopped, told him to follow me on foot (there I go again!), and ran for it. "Dear God," I prayed, "please don't let him have broken his arm while there's an open CPS investigation into our family." Then I caught sight of Marty dangling from a branch. He wasn't hurt, just terrified. He'd been walking along a big branch that broke off unexpectedly, leaving him hanging.
The solution was obvious: I put both hands on the back fence and jumped over it into the neighbor's yard. "Okay, sweetie," I called up to him, "you can let go now." He dropped safely into my arms and I hugged him for a minute while his breathing slowed down. He scrambled over the fence into our yard. Alex said, "Sorry, Mom, I panicked for a minute."
I tried to get back over the fence myself and realized that the sucker is almost shoulder-high. How was I going to get my 21-week belly back into its own yard? Let's just say my performance wouldn't qualify me for any parallel bars competitions. Then I thought, "Marty is a pretty skinny kid but he still weighs 60 pounds. I would not have been so blithe about catching a 60-pound anything under normal circumstances." Thank goodness for adrenaline, and for guardian angels.
Joe's response to the crisis: "Mom, please can you run around the block with me some more?"
I had hoped to have a CPS update today but I don't -- I called several times and never got to speak with the caseworker. I did include some detail here that might have belonged in a post of its own. Yesterday Joe and I went to the police station and spoke with the officer who responded to the incident. He took my statement about the woman's restraining Joe, so there's an official record of that now, appended to his original report. I asked him about the best way to make sure, without escalating the situation, that she does not touch my children again, and he said he would contact her himself to make sure she knows to leave my kids alone. He was very reassuring -- very clear that my decision made sense to him while also helping me to view her more charitably -- and I am optimistic that he can get the point across if anyone can. So that's good. Still praying...
Recent Comments