Pairs of spiderweb cupcakes taken to school Monday for Marty's birthday (decorating was completed with "help" from a wiggly toddler in the sling, which may explain the architecturally dubious spiderwebs): 13
Sculpey teeth glued to Joe's dragon head: 12
Years in which I expect Pete to complain about the pictures showing him in a kitty costume with a pink fluffy nose and pink ribbon whiskers: 11
Approximate percentage of households distributing items other than candy: 10
IQ point boost for premies given 100% mother's milk during their hospitalization, compared to premies given no mother's milk (this item gleaned from the paper read while soaking in the bath after the chaos was finally All Over): 9
Snickers elicited by the name of Marty's costume inspiration, his Neopet (he has no idea that this name is hilarious to less innocent ears, along the lines of Mr. Honkin' Johnson): 8
Points missed on my statistics midterm, out of 100: 7
Foam dragon claws sewn into red mitts: 6
Rejected methods of securing dragon head: 5
Years running that my oldest has been a headless man for Halloween: 4
Pieces of our leftover trick-or-treat candy eaten in the middle of the night, when I woke up to load the dishwasher and put on my pajamas after falling asleep tucking one of the boys in: 3
Pieces of candy fished out of Pete's mouth already this morning (he just bites through the wrapper): 2
Tired mamas in this house: 1
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